Quote, Quips and Other Tips to Make it Through Life

“A Goat Rope”- As the story goes an old Navy guy saw a goat all tangled up in its ropes. With all good intentions he went over to try and help the goat. The goat proceeded to bite the guy. He, in turn, proceeded to beat the crap out of the goat. This was all being witnessed by a group of tourists. The Navy guy was punished for his deed. A goat rope is when your good intentions turn bad or blow up in your face.

So, the next time you you're in a conference call and are asked if anyone has a question., if you respond with, "I really don't understand?"  That's a goat rope.

My Uncle John loved to make up song lyrics.  This is my take on Bon Jovi’s sing.

You Give Food A Bad Name – Jon An Chovi

I’ve got to fart
And you're to blame
Darlin', you give food a bad name

Sheppard’s Pie is what you made
You promise me heaven, then put me through hell
Spastic stool got a hold on me
When toilet's a prison, you can't break free

Oh, I’ve got loaded buns, yeah
Oh, I’ve got the runs
No one can save me
The damage is done

I’ve got to fart
And you're to blame
You give food a bad name (bad name)
I wipe off barf and you wipe off blame

You give food a bad name (bad name)
You give food, a bad name

Tainted and vile rare beef tips
Blood red meat cut in finger strips
A bull loin’s meme, it tastes like lye
My very first bite was your first bite to die

Oh, I’ve got loaded buns, yeah
Oh, I’ve got the runs
No one can save me
The damage is done

I’ve got to fart…